Quiet Simmer

Sometimes I can't quite get quiet enough. I hear a conversation, the neighbors cutting their grass, the TV on in the next room, the AC switching on, the birds chirping outside of my window, and I begin to wish I could shut my ears much like I can shut my eyes. Usually during these times I play music with no lyrics to drown out the noises that I find so distracting. Jazz and classical usually work for me, but jazz is my go-to. Just the other day I felt the need to write. I was anxious and needed the words out of my head, but I could not get quiet. I tried listening to Thelonius Monk, and could not seem to settle. I switched over to Miles Davis, and that seemed to heighten my anxiety. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I needed quiet, rest in order for my words to flow. I listened a bit longer, and the words began to jump around along with the music. I was feeling what I was hearing and it became clear that nothing I was feeling was calm or quiet. I was stirred, and all that was inside bubbled over. As the music seemed to churn, thicken, and boil, so did I, and I realized why the album is titled "Bitches Brew." So I remained unsettled until my words spilled out onto the page, covering it with my viscous thoughts, still warm from their stewing.

Life is multiplicity

Simply

Because it is multidimensional.

Discord and Chaos

Creating

Melody and Harmony

Things that shouldn't

Work together

Often do.

Balance

Opposites on either end

Dark, Light

Motion, Stillness

Reason, Emotion

What is one without the other?

I look you in the eye

And I'm astounded.

That which beckons me

Repels me

Stirring up a multitude of discordant emotions

Each trying to find rest.

Swirling around, they bump and bang together

Causing me to lurch forward for another

Glimpse of you.

I avert my gaze.

I cannot trust my eyes.

Not now

When I'm around you

Discord.

I'm knocked off center.

I can't seem to

Find

My

Balance